Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sometimes, what's mine

When you become a mother that alone time you used to have - whether a little or a lot - is reduced to pretty much nothing. And, for stay-at-home-mums (SAHMs), that place where you went to be you - usually work - is gone, too. So, to find something that is yours', and yours' alone is special.

Some time ago, I 'met' online a lovely group of people who regularly comment on my favourite blog, MamaMia. Over the last little while we have shared triumphs and tears. We've trusted each other with fears and frustrations. They're not strangers - just friends I haven't met yet. And next Saturday, I'll finally say hi to them in 'real life' when we get together for drinks in Sydney.

I talk to Drew about them like I talk about my local friends. He probably wouldn't know their names, but he'd recognise the funny columnist with the gay-straight husband; or the accountant who fell down the stairs in her new studded Nicola Finetti boots; or the brave ex-criminal lawyer who is fighting to save her best friend from cancer.

And when I say "I'll be saying hi...", that's what I mean. It's my first solo trip away in over three years and I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Sunday morning as much as I am hitting the town the night before.

While some partners might wonder why they're not invited to come along, that's not the case with Drew. He's encouraged me to go, told me to get myself a new outfit; he's not threatened in the least. He understands that, these days, I have so little that is truly mine and mine alone... and how I adore him for it.

What do you do, 0r where do you go, to find something that is truly yours'?


Iris said...

Oooh, that sounds like fun :-D

Something that is 'truly mine'? After feeding my wee one I hand her over to her papa and go and read for as long as I can. Or I go for a leisurely stroll. Or have a shower.

And I get the distinct impression that Drew is a very cool dude. The new outfit part cemented that idea ;-)

Anonymous said...

What a sweet post. Amanda, I am a lurker on mamamia, have been since the VERY FIRST POST. i check the blog every single day at least four or five times a day. I have never commented. AND YET, i feel like I know (helped a lot by twitter and your own various blogs) you, and Mia and KerriSackville and fender4eva and gigidiary and stepford mama et al.

I WISH I WAS GOING TO MAMAMEETUP (but alas, I live in Brisbane).

I hope youhave an amazing time!!!!!!! Please take photos so we can see what y'all look like in real life! xxxxxx

Amanda said...

Iris, you're more than welcome to pop up from the Gong for the night! Details are at:

And Anonymous? Would love to hear your voice on MamaMia one's fantastic to know all the members of our little community... xox

numberchic said...

how embaressing that that's what Drew knows me as - ha ha ha.

Cannot wait to see you on Saturday night!

numberchic said...

oh I forgot to talk about something that is truly mine - well I work full time so I do get that time to myself but Mr Chic insists that I also go out regularly with my girlfriends - whether that is dinner and a show with a dear neighbour or a bottle of wine, KFC and late night shopping with another girlfriend - it's something just for me.

Eco-Chic-Mummy said...

Hi Amanda! On the rare occasions when I escape from the house alone, it is usually to enjoy a drink with the girls (on Sat night we actually had a great night with a chef coming to one of my friend's houses to give us a Spanish cooking class! And of course we ate what we had cooked for dinner!), or to go to the meetings of the little environmental groups I belong to!

I lap up every moment of freedom and independence when I am out - and usually stay out as long as possible - but then all of a sudden a wave of missing my little munchkin will hit and I can't get home quick enough, to watch her sleeping or give her a cuddle!

A bit of alone time makes us much better Mummies I think! As hard as it to grab (my partner is often away for work and is studying as well as working at the moment!)

I hope you have a wonderful time meeting the gang from Mama Mia!

DaniV said...

I too am a SAHM with two kids.... your post really hit a spot with me... might have to do something just for me!

Anonymous said...

I really hear you on this because even though my kids go to school in the day, I have them every night, every weekend, without a break until their Dad flies in to take them (or they fly out, which I hate...)
so I understand your excitement - new dress! sipping wine! no nappies! no squabbles! no messy lounge room floor! uninterrupted conversations with people over the age of 5 - hurrah!.

You do sound like you have a lovely husband, who wishes you well and wants to see you enjoy yourself. And I sincerely hope you guys do that.

When I organise the Canberra meet and greet ( cough choke anyonewanttooffertoorganisecough choke) you have to come too.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

That sounds so great, finally to meet your blogging friends. There's a group of us expat bloggers in Sydney who are all really close now since we met within the last year. They're now my best friends in Sydney online an offline. They're my homeys.

PottyMouthMama said...

This post made me teary. I hope you have a fabulous night out and a fabulous sleep in. You deserve it sister!!
Drew sounds awesome. My husband is like that too. Love!!