For Sophia

Now and then
My eyes light on the whisper thin scars
On the backs of your hands…
Reminders of when a tangle of wires and tubes
Kept you alive.

And I remember…

Riding the wave of fear
As they pulled you, tiny and fragile
From my womb.
Stifling a sob
As reality hit...hard and brutal.

For weeks, a bubble encased
Your twiglike limbs
Keeping you safe…
Helping you heal and grow.
I stood helplessly by.

For 71 days
You were as much
Machine as child…
We rode that wild and
Twisting rollercoaster together.

There were times
I didn't think you'd hold on
But you were strong...
And now it's like
You were always here.

Your homecoming was
Like emerging into sunshine
A whole new world.
My little one
I love you.

Mummy

Lamb, Mint and Pea Pie

I LOVE this recipe...it's the tastiest pie I've ever made and is really quite easy. The secret is to buy good quality lamb - it really does make a difference.

What you need
1.25kg diced lamb shoulder
2tbs plain flour, plus 1tbs extra
80ml extra virgin olive oil
1 large onion, finely diced
2.5tbs tomato paste
160ml red wine
160ml veal stock
225g frozen green peas, defrosted
1 handful of mint leaves, chopped
1-2 sheets of frozen puff pastry
1 egg yolk, lightly whisked

What to do
Preheat the oven to 150C. Season the lamb with salt and pepper and toss with the flour until evenly coated (I whack it all in a plastic bag and shake it around.)

Heat the oil in a large ovenproof pan over high heat. Add the lamb in batches and cook for 1-2 mins or until well browned, then remove. Add the onion with a pinch of salt and cook over low heat for 5 mins, or until softened. Add the tomato paste and extra flour and cook for a minute or so. Add the red wine and veal stock and stir until the mixture boils. Return the lamb to the pan, cover the pan with foil (or a lid if the pan has one), place in the oven and cook for one hour, or until the lamb is tender.

Stir through peas and mint and season with salt and pepper if necessary. Let mixture cool.

Increase the oven temperature to 200C. Divide the pie filling between four 300ml ramekins or pie dishes. Top each one with a piece of pastry large enough to hang over the edge of the dish. Press the pastry down firmly around the edges of the dishes, and brush evenly with the egg yolk. Bake in the middle of the oven for about 15 mins, or until puffed and golden.

Serve warm...I love it with creamy mash and a glass of red...yummo!

Recipe by God of Food, Neil Perry. Check out his website at www.rockpool.com.au.

When toddlers become stylists

Apparently, when I was a wee thing I used to change clothes an average of five times per day...well, karma is clearly a bitch because Olivia has now decided to do exactly the same thing.

As a stylist she's no Rachel Zoe and has absolutely no clue about dressing for the weather...but, hey, she's not even three. At least she's colour coordinating...kinda. Here are today's outfits:

8am: Mum dresses Liv sensibly for a coolish day in Canberra

12:30pm: Liv decides pink boardshorts are far more appropriate than leggings. Red patent shoes clearly also complement the outfit far better.

2:30pm: Post-cupcake baking, "berry messy" Olivia decides to combine about 100 prints.

4:00pm: Off for a supermarket run, Liv chooses this cute sequined number. Mum insists on turtleneck and leggings underneath, much to Liv's disgust.

6:30pm Liv capitalises on Mum being busy bathing Fia to showcase yet another outfit...Country Road top with gold ballet slippers. Mum now too tired to care that she has nothing on her bottom half.

Apologies to Mother Earth...I'm sure you understand why my washing machine is always on.

Kid in the Kitchen

Olivia obviously takes after her mum with her love of cooking. She adores being alongside me at the kitchen bench, whipping something up.

Today, since her little sister has started having a mammoth lunchtime nap, I thought we'd tackle some cupcakes. Although my heavy-handedness with the food colouring produced some pretty lurid icing, they turned our pretty well...and she decorated them all by herself...move over, Donna Hay!

A weekend in pictures

Top row

1. Silo bread - THE best bread in Canberra, if not the World.
2. Hubby's scrambled eggs with chives - he is a breakfast magician
3. Leaves turning red - I adore Autumn!

Middle row

1. One of the 16 or so (count em!) wild peacocks which roam our neighbourhood
2. Sophia sits alone for the first time - clever, clever girl!
3. MORE Easter Eggs for Olivia (this time from Auntie Clare)

Bottom Row

1. Miss Olivia and her fairy puzzle
2. Ahhhhh...chardy
3. Yummy yummy steak for dinner last night...probably last BBQ for some time
   

Fashion Smashion: Drew Barrymore

Usually, I can take or leave Drew Barrymore's fashion sense, but she has been absolutely KILLING IT on the publicity tour for Grey Gardens.

Hippy or Harlowesque, she pulls off a variety of looks - tell me, what's your favourite?

Source: Just Jared

Inside, Outside

I never thought I'd be quoting Stevie Nicks in a post on motherhood, but a recent comment to AAP got me thinking. Here's what she had to say:

"I believe that computers have taken over the world. I believe that they have in many ways ruined our children. I believe that kids used to love to go out and play. I believe that social graces are gone because manners are gone because all people do is sit around and text. I think it's obnoxious."

Now, I don't necessarily share her view because I'm a massive fan of social networking technologies - I blog, I twitter, I facebook. But I'd be lying if I said I'd never worried about how my children will interact once they're teenagers and beyond...because communication has changed so much, and so quickly, since I was a kid.

Until I was a teenager, I lived in a town of 300 people. My sister and I spent 90% of our childhood outside, playing or exploring the nearby streets. We had imagination as our closest companion, watched tv rarely, and didn't even have a phone in the house.

The stark reality is that things will be very different for my girls. Kids are getting mobiles younger and younger and becoming increasingly dependent on technology for social connections. I don't want to find that my decision to limit my daughters' use of, say, mobiles or facebook, means they are excluded from their peers.

But, at the same time, I want them to experience the joy of physical activity and imagination. I want them to make their own fun, not have it served up on a plate. I don't want to find myself buying them computerised fitness play equipment when they're in primary school because they're so used to living in a digital world.

It's something that, to be honest, scares me just a little...and I can only hope my husband and I make the right decisions when the time comes. Does it worry you, too?